Let’s start with asking the real questions: are you happy?
Am I happy?
I don’t know …
I am pretty pleased with my life right now, but is that enough?
I can’t just ‘wait’ and expect to wake up ‘happier’ can I? That’s just not how it works.
On the contrary, in my job I see people who basically come to complain to me every day, most of the time it’s just about something small, more often than I would expect, people come to tell me … that they are unhappy.
And I will tell you a secret:
it’s never because of money or material things,
it’s about circumstances:
- not having accomplished what they expected to accomplish,
- not having time to spend with family or doing things they love
- stressful times that ask too much energy for too long, without time for themselves or some proper self-care,
- losses of any kind,
sometimes there is not even a real reason …
A human being is just not made to be happy easily, i’m afraid.
We really need to do that on our own,
by giving our life some purpose, some passion, something that we believe in.
And something I realised by some self-reflection after another day full of sad people:
you can decide.
You can decide to become happy and work for it, you can look at any day in a good or in a bad way, you can make 5 minutes ruin your whole day, or just ignore those negative thoughts and choose to BE HAPPY.
So that’s what i will try to do, i’ll try and take 1 step back, and look at why i’m unhappy, or neutral. And choose to be happy instead!
How will i make this work? I made 10 reminders for myself to live by.
Let me explain:
1. Don’t let things outside yourself bring you down
Often the stress we face comes from outside, if you can change it: do! But if you let yourself be affected by things you can’t change, you’ll end up frustrated. The small things shouldn’t affect you. Let it glide off you like rain off a duck. It is only an issue if you let it become one!
2. Meditate : self-reflect on your mood
When that awful 5 minute of misery comes along, try to find the relativity the situation. Is this really worth your whole day? Try to take a step back and reflect why you are in a bad mood, why you are unhappy right now. Is this really worth your energy? Try and actively make yourself happier, listen to a happy song instead of drowning yourself in self-loathing songs.
3. Do things for YOU
When everything you do is for someone else, you get frustrated in the end. It is absolutely necessary to take care for yourself before you take care of someone else, it’s called ‘care for the caregiver’. You need some me-time regularly!
4. Follow a passion
Spend your time in a fulfilling way, do stuff you love, that way you charge your batteries for tough times to come. You can’t keep on doing stuff you don’t find happiness in, off course, there will always be stuff you rather didn’t do, taking out the garbage for example.
5. Sleep enough
You cannot think clearly with a tired and foggy head. Find out how much sleep you need personally, it differs greatly between people! I personally need a lot of sleep … 8 hours a night and I’m still exhausted by the end of the week!
6. Spend time with friends and family
Make sure you feed your friendships and relations, even when you are tired and don’t feel well, those contacts are so important. Those are the people who care and really want to see you happy. Don’t neglect these essential interactions.
7. Make memories
It can be tempting to skip a party after a day/week of hard work, after a tiring night with the kids … But those are the things that end up being so much better than expected. Do something unplanned! Make some pictures and treasure those moments that you can remember forever.
Emotions are proven to interact with our reaction. Are we flushed and frowning because we are mad? Or are we mad because we are flushed and frowning? This idea came from paralysed people having less intense emotions. So trick your body in being the happy person that you really are, smile and laugh!
9. Don’t linger on the negative things
Did something bad happen to you? Life is never fair, but this is what is on your path. You have to find a way to deal with it. That can be in every way that works for you! But make sure you don’t live in the past. Look forward.
10. Make the decision to be happy every day
Everyone has his emotional baggage, bad things happen every day. You can’t really live your life if you don’t pay attention to all the small beautiful things that happen too.
So, that’s some inspiration for us all there.
Do you guys agree? Do you believe you can ‘choose’ to be happier in life?
Have a nice day!